Offering Condolences
The problem for me is that I don’t know how to offer condolences. With a huge social circle of my family we’re supposed to visit everyone’s place where death strikes (even their relatives!). But having no affinity at all with the deceased, and feeling no regret (really!) how can I put on that veneer of sadness on my face and say something which is almost futile. I have to say something when meeting them, but what??
What should one say when offering condolences? No words can placate the one in distress for sure, but even then we’re supposed to say something like Sabar Karo or Bohot Afsos Hua or simply put a question like Kese Inteqal Hua? I detest the last one primarily because you’re asking the person to repeat the whole story again, and rekindle those feelings which will stay at the back of his memory for lifetime. And all this when you really don’t know the person who just left the world!
How on earth should one offer condolences when you really don’t feel it???! I’m not asking WHY, because there is no answer to that.
My best friend died a few days back. I could not condole with his family over the phone as they live in Islamabad. I just did’nt know what to do…
I face the same dilemma too.
?
Atleast you think of asking a question. Listen to what I do. I just sit and stare at the people. Death is inevitable. What is the use of grief. I know it is a loss of a loved one, but still it had to happen one day. Most of all I feel anger towards the people who don’t even know the person. The come to curb their curiosity. I even don’t get the concept of chaleswans and other weird stuff. Funeral and mourning should only be for close relatives and friends, not for the whole towns. Only they understand the loss and the emptiness left behind. You might think I am crazy.
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