Guilt
// September 6th, 2009 // London Diary
Just because I am going to Karachi after a year or so, I am supposed to get gifts for people, esp. the close ones i.e. dad, mom, sis and bro-in-law, right? WRONG! At least thats what I thought. My plan was to buy some stuff for my niece only. But it came to my knowledge yesterday that my dearest sister, who had no idea that her poor brother was coming over for eid, bought a set of kurta-shalwar and dispatched it via courier so that I don't feel left out :S
This completely changed my plans! The feeling of guilt poured in and it is important to mention some incidents to show why the feeling was so heavy. First of all, whenever my sis used to visit UAE from Pakistan, even if it was for 2 days, she used to get gifts for everyone (esp. me), but yeah not a big deal, she's the elder sis
On our parents' wedding anniversary, she used to buy gifts and add my name on those, even though I always reneged on the promise of paying her my share of money back for the expensive gifts. I was mean, I know! But I did buy the gifts once, after she got married, which was a real pain to look for 'em!
Anyway, so these two are enough to support why I felt bad and since I already had a plan to buy stuff for Musfirah (the niece) and myself, I spent the day shopping around today. Needless to say, the overwhelming belief that finding presents for women is the toughest task on planet, was profoundly confirmed today.
Note: This theme is so great that I keep visiting my own blog just to have a look at it 
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[...] This cup of tea was served by: Desultory Cerebrations [...]
[...] This cup of tea was served by: Desultory Cerebrations [...]
Yeah right…i went to shopping with Ubaid so that he can buy a gift for his fiance….it was too hectic and especially because of the fact that shops having all women thing…did allow us to enter it was family only place… Ubaid had to debate with the sales person and at the end he was the only one allowed to go into the shop….i had to stay out :@.
Best possible gift in my eye is to give woman some money and ask her to purchase her own gift. for my case this applies to men too. I think u should do the same…take ur family for some shopping or u can take them out on a dinner or so. If not then best of luck in buying a gift for her.
Btw this theme is a pleasant change
@MAK: No actually, its not about getting the right thing..different for fiancee (and ubaid) n family. I dnt agree with your money wali theory. Its jst abt showing that u care..i think :S Although it is obvious that one does care n gifts r nt needed lekin ab kya kia jasakta hai!
“Btw this theme is a pleasant change”–>> I KNOW!
When I went to Karachi, we spent a year collecting gifts for people. Yeah, it was THAT intense. And they don’t even care there except of course for the closest ones.
and I like the new theme too! Looks nice and fresh
@Qurrat: I’m probably among those who don’t care either. but seriously, one year? what were u looking for?
koee panda shanda leylo, ismein kaunsi mushkil baat hai!!
Hahaha! You think thats hard??? Wait till you buy for gifts for your fiance!!!
I actually had to go through extensive training to do that, and I still have nt got the hang of it!
my brother basically never gets gifts for anyone from uk. he didnt this time either
we make him buy gifts for us once he gets here 
@ MAK
trust me, thats not a good idea. women like gifts which have some emotions attached to em…not just cash handed to them which makes em feel as if it was some sort of responsibility or something being done out of compulsion.
Dude! The cheapest solution I can think of is to buy loads of chocolate! Thats what I did!
@Lena…..My option was let her select her/ own gift….that is what ur brother is doing….letting u select the gift. So u are not emotionally attached to it???
@Anas…is there some script running in text box….i can’t see couple of words in fist line of my comment. Gifts lay liyae….yar koi fit see chocolate hi courier kar dena
@ MAK
sadly my brother will never understand that and as something is better than nothing, we make him buy gifts for us
i would prefer if he bought something for me himself which he never does. it always feels better if u get a ’surprise’ gift wen the suitcase opens
@ safi
chocolates are just something that can compliment a gift…not ‘the’ gift! Lord! U guys need some serious training
@Leena: Comon! Kids love it, their mothers hate it…. what else do you want!!! I hate people who bring ‘clothes’ for you, wanted to smack them in the face when I was a kid! And toys are too expensive!
As for their mommies, I have no idea about that! Heck I dont know what you should give unmarried women, much less married women… much less mommies!
@All: chocs arent such a good idea cuz they give an impression tht ur giving it jst for the sake of it, not cool when the recipients are really closed ones….for kids, toys are the best option…clothes are hard to buy esp for women and chances are she’ll not like it
So what is ur gift list….will love to c it….off course after u have given them to ur intended person….
it could be an interseting tag … list atleast 5 gifts that u are going to buy for so and so ppl. Anas Consider ur self tagged
I agree with Leena. I also hate when people give me money and say ‘buy whatever you like’. What’s their specially in it?
On my bdays, I always press my brother very hard to buy something for me. Although he always forgets that. I still remember once he brought me a cheap looking stone bracelet from Kalash. I didn’t like it but my feelings attached to it are more intense than its looks. The feelings that he remembered me there while hanging out with friends are undescribable. I wear it off and on. And whenever I wear it, I picture my brother stopping by a shop to see some jewelery, thinking about me, excusing his friends for a while and choosing the best possible one. How much he would have confused while choosing one. lol I really feel cherished
So do buy a nice present for your sis. She would love it whatever it is.
Or you could buy nothing at all and say “mere aa jana hi tohfah hai!” Hahah
@MAK: yeah i will let u knw soon
@RebellionCrap: actually that is the way we guys dont think
but thanks .. makes a lot of sense!
@Safi: and then when u go back…tohfa wapas chala jayga
You are an engineer… you should know that everything has a lifetime!
Heck! Chocolates would have an even shorter lifetime!
Thank God! Safi is not my brother
thats strange! cuz when we guys say “thank god XYZ is not my sister” that means something else
haha…….well I got deeply impressed by his tohfa suggestions. What else can be
“thank god XYZ is not my sister” ……..kinda compliment or sth else?
yeah kinda compliment..when u say thank god shez nnot my sis, now i cat date her
I have to agree with Leena, you guys need some training.
Giving cash is well, insensitive. I definetely prefer gifts myself, [and surprises ones are better
] it just shows the other person cares.
i agree..we do ned training…i spent 3 hours and ended up finding nothing couple of days back…it was so uncomfortable shopping in the women’s area :S
i think i need to write a new post!
lolzz…….
Com’ on Anas. Shopping for women is not at all difficult. It’s rather easier than men’s. Because there are more variety in women stuff than in men’s. Why dont you try some cosmetics? Go to a cosmetic shop and ask the sales girls for the stuff in fashion. or ask for the help of any beautiful girl customer standing around
. It would definitely increase your social circle as well 
and u thought i wudnt pounce on an opporunity like that? clearly u dnt know me
that may well be the only motivating factor 
That later is not a bad idea! I guess I ll go shopping too!