So, dear God, thank you for making the right decisions for me even though I complained a lot at those times.

Knowledge of self is the key to the knowledge of God [...] and real self-knowledge consists in knowing the following things: What are you in yourself, and from what source have you come? To which place are you going, and for what purpose have you come to tarry here awhile, and in what does your real happiness and misery lie? Some of your attributes are those of animals, some of devils, and some of angles, and you have to find out which of these attributes are accidental and which are essential. Till you know this, you cannot find out where your real happiness lies. The occupation of animals is eating, sleeping, and fighting; therefore, if you are an animal, busy yourself in these things. Devils are busy in stirring up mischief, and in guile and deceit; if you belong to them, do their work. Angels contemplate the beauty of God, and are entirely free from animal qualities; if you are of angelic nature, then strive towards your origin that you may know and contemplate the Most High, and be delivered from the thraldom of lust and anger. You should also discover why you have been created with these animal insticints: whether that they should subdue and lead you captive, or whether you should subdue them, and, in your upward progress, make of one your steed and of the other your weapon – An excerpt from The Alchemy of Happiness by Al-Ghazali

A real food for thought! I couldn’t help but think how animal instincts are very much on the higher side in me, and many others around me. May Allah help us all to strive in the right path to achieve the angelic attributes.

While I am on the topic of Halal food and the meaning of Halal there is another issue that I’ve learnt of after coming to the UK related to a food item being declared as Halal or not. Now there are atleast two Halal certifying authorities in the UK (that I know of) and both do not accept each other’s way of accredition.

One of them says that meat (for example of chicken) is halal only if it is slaughtered in the name of Allah and that it has to be alive and kicking at the time. However, normally the animals are stunned (low voltage shock) before being killed in UK and many other countries and that former group considers that those animals are not halal mainly because there is a doubt that the animal may die while being stunned. Another authority which certifies for halal meat considers the practice legal as it says, that such low voltage shocks cannot kill the animal and that slaughter while being stunned is therefore legitimate as long as its done in the prescribed way. Then there is another group which says that even if the recordings of Allah’s name are being played while the animal is slaughtered and not recited, it is fine. (This may sound funny, but its true. I was shocked too).

Those were the disputes within UK. Now lets come a bit to the Muslim world. Scholars from prominent institutes in the Arab world have issued fatwas that if the meat is not haram i.e. not pork and those sort, it is halal. And just recite Allah’s name before eating it, that’s fine. I was surprised at this too, but quite a large number of people follow this. And why not, when they have fatwas!

So the question really is…what is Halal? Personally, I don’t know. I’ve grown up listening that slitting the throat after mentioning Allah’s name is a necessity for permissible meat. Now, we don’t even have a consensus on this!

However, the verse I found in Quran that explains the issue is below.

Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than God; that which hath been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless ye are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (altars); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) by raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But if any is forced by hunger, with no inclination to transgression, God is indeed Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful (5:3).

Now, all the opinions that I mentioned above are based on this verse. Its all too confusing. Who is right and who’s not. Personally, I go for alternative whenever in doubt, to be on the safe end.

Will dig more info on this soon inshAllah. Any legit source and opinions will be appreciated.

PS. Never ever ever take your elders to a place where you havent been before yourself

Last week I decided to take some relatives out for dinner to celebrate the  first pay with them. Weekends are the only time such events can take place for two reasons: weekdays are terribly busy and I live far from the city.

So, on a fine Saturday evening we all decided to go out to a restaurant with subcontinental cuisine. No one had been there or seen that place before so it took a while to locate the restaurant exactly and it was closing at that moment. What the heck? Who closes a restaurant at 9pm on a Saturday night in such a busy district? With very little option owing to the halal(ness) of the food we opted for the Arabian restaurant nearby which I had seen before but never tried. I doubted whether it was a halal place or not but they had a certificate on the door and a banner saying WE ARE HALAL!

Startving, we went in. Apart from the guy who opened the door for us none of the staff really looked interested in serving us. I glanced at one waiter and motioned for him to present the menu cards. He nodded. Then asked me to wait a few seconds.

The atmosphere was expectant. People already eating looked excited while the staff were making sure everything is in order. Within couple of minutes the loud Arabic music started to play. It was so loud that you couldn;t hear the guy sitting next to you without some effort. Then it stopped for a minute and started again. Just when I was about to get up and tear apart a member of the staff as to why he isn’t serving the customers and also to kill that music, the lights went dim and a door (which I earlier thought was an emergency exit) opened. I slipped back in my seat while everyone started clapping.

And there it was. The surprise. A young Arab lady dancing on the tunes of the loud music. It was the Saturday special! Bellydance! Now, this wasn’t ordinary. The aforementioned lady, although dressed nicely in her lower half was barely covered in the upper. (I couldn’t look at her much even if I wanted to because of the guests I was entertaining). Now her dress wasn’t the only problem. She was brave enough to go to every table .. too close to the tables … and dance .. as if exclusively for you. Sitting on the corner, I quickly realised how dangerous my position was. A very small prayer from the heart perhaps got answered immediately as she skipped us (perhaps because of the small kids? and the lack of interest we showed). It was utterly embarassing for me!

Done with the dinner after the awkward moments we decided to leave. Food wasn’t bad. On exiting the place I glanced at the banner that said WE ARE HALAL and all those sorts.

It is really sad to see how Halal is being restricted only to food items these days. This is really making a mockery of the concept of Halal. And no, its not the non-Muslims who are doing it. Its us! Sigh. A non-Muslim would rightly question how one Muslim is supporting the act while the other is calling it unlawful. Sadly, we (the Muslims) are distorting our own image.

The next morning I went back to that place, alone this time to have a chat with the manager. I asked him the same question. He smiled. His reasoning were simple. He says belly-dancing is our (Moroccan) tradition. People love it. They come especially to see it. And that they are abiding by the religion to serve halal but preserving tradition. Quickly I decided against wasting time and left.

The pre-Islamic era in the Arabian peninsula was full of such practices. They aren’t supposed to be preserved in the name of culture. The fact that they are, just goes to show how the Muslims are heading back towards that age of ignorance that prevailed before the dawn of Islam.

May Allah (swt) guide the Muslims to the right path. Ameen.

PS. Never ever ever take your elders to a place where you havent been before yourself

So we [3 of us] decided to go out and have dinner with the mehnat ki kamai

I noticed today that everyone looks happy on the payday..lol

Apart from that, work has got really interesting this week. Have to probe a lot of stuff in the coming days as I’m slowly being pushed into real design. So no more look-busy-do-nothing. Not true infact some hardware synthesis takes ages to complete so I still have to sit there wait for the result which usually isn’t what I wanted it to be. But hey, thats what I am being paid to do

Next week I will be tasked with more interesting (and important) work and I shall also be receiving the first paycheck

It was so easy in uni. Don’t feel like working? Just get up and go home, no one cares! Feeling drowsy? Well, there is always tomorrow to finish off the work. This luxury is perhaps snatched away when you start fulltime work. Take an example, I stared at the gap between the two monitors that I have for about one hour trying hard to get out of sleep-mode. Two mugs of coffee were absolutely worthless. Had this been uni, I’d have gone home the minute I felt I was not doing anything (or maybe do something else). At office, I was just hoping that the posture looked as if I was doing something. Then there is this thought that people may actually be watching you since you’re new here. But I don’t think people care a lot as long as you get the work done.

So far, I think, apart from the manager I am the person who leaves the room most often, either going for coffee, tea, chocolate, lunch, accompany a smoker friend, toilet, or just a quick walk in the hall. But hey its not all because of sleep and not having *that* much to do now…sometimes the compile/synthesis stuff take so long (it may take days too later when the designs get big) that it gets boring to watch the screen hoping to get the result soon. And sometimes the software that you need is not available because all the licenses are being used by important people for REAL work (unlike a freshie who just wants to play with it).

Apart from getting up for short breaks, I also use the e-mail quite a lot to communicate with my friend who sits couple of meters away, and another friend who sits in a different office. Mostly, its not work-related stuff that we discuss.

In the uni there was an option to miss lectures and just sleep. No, that is not the case at work. Whether you have work or not, you are being paid to be there! And if you don’t have work, then find something substantial to do!

Something that was kinda bothering me lately is that there used to be a target always at uni. A deadline. After which things would subside, and you could breath a sigh of relief. Then there was the knowledge that this will end in a certain number of years. Now at work, if you’re done with something, you will be given something else. And there is no forseeable end. There is responsibility though, and suddenly you start feeling that a lot of work done by others may be depending on yours.

One good thing that has happened in the past three weeks is that I’ve got a hang of the Scottish accent. In the first week, I didn’t understand much of what my manager said. Now its getting better.

It may appear as if I am complaining. But that is not the case actually. I am just figuring out myself what changes I have to go through. I am helped by the fact that our office environment is really relaxed. The dress code is casual and apart from proper hot food, you can eat/drink at your desk even if its not the lunchtime. That is more like the uni! You can plug-in earphones while working and that’s quite normal. There is no difference between seniors and juniors and you can just walk to anyone and ask them to explain anything to you. People are very helpful indeed.

On that note, I met the very limited number of Pakistanis that work here. There is this guy from Lahore who has a twin brother working in the same company at the same position. Both worked for the same company back in Pakistan too and obviously both have the exact same education from the same institute. I met one of them because the other one is on leave. All of them have been here for a while and I went with them for Friday prayer today. Again, nice people!

Next week I will be tasked with more interesting (and important) work and I shall also be receiving the first paycheck

Anyway so worklife is very different from all the years I’ve lived before and its kinda nice too. There will be many more things that I may like/dislike later but for now I think His Mercy is really being showered on me. Things seem nice and easy. I hope this continues for long.

So I moved to this place in Hemel Hempstead (Apsley) which is just outside Greater London and takes an hour or so by train which is something I really didn’t like. I moved here on Sunday (a week ago) and suddenly everything changed. Living alone in a 1-bed flat which I graciously selected to satisfy my needs of large space is a bit hard for two reasons. One, it gets lonely. Two, its expensive (but .. well.. I’ll be earning right?). Slowly I am getting used to the place..but more on it later..

Next came the big Monday, 4th of Jan..my first day at work (of my first job). Just to remind I have been drafted in as a Digital ASIC Designer at Imagination Technologies, the company that virtually drives the graphics market of portable devices. Seven other guys were also joining in on the same day with one in the same design team as me. The day went past like a breeze with intro sessions, form filling, setting up the computers and all that sort. I was given a Linux box and a PC, couple of monitors, a nice chair, some stationary and then we (me and the other newbie) had lunch. An introductory session with the manager then followed who explained some of the work his team has done in simple words and the day ended. Second day was boring and we spent time drinking coffee again and again UNTIL we were asked to read something that just was a bit hard and we sat until 7 instead of 5.30 to understand that. There was also a group meeting that we attended on that day where progress on the projects were discussed and I didn’t get anything what was said except that perhaps there was a stringent deadline to meet. The next three days were quite good…some of the colleagues taught us how to do little things and we kept practising. Using linux is also something I have to get used to in order to run the simulations and also must be able to write some scripts to perform some tasks. It will take time. But the last three days were good in terms of learning although I did a lot of screw ups while setting the environment variables in linux (whatever they do ). On Wednesday I was given my extension phone which I’m yet to figure out how to use. I traveled to central London for the weekend and now its almost over. I hope the next week will be good too. An attraction is that one of my classmate from Imperial will also be joining on Monday … but in a different design team…so it should be fun.

Oh and something really interesting that happened on Wednesday. I was sitting in the morning as I checked in early and one of my colleagues who interviewed me came up to me and gave me a cap of USB stick. I was a bit confused until she reminded me that I left this when I came for interview about 6 months ago! LOL

Ok…With this I also announce my return to the blogging world! Stay tuned for tonnes of complaints and whines

On the academic side, it was perhaps the best year. I worked really hard and got much more than I expected, thanks to Almighty. My prayers were not only answered but I think I was showered with blessings. Anyway, here is a list of the goods this year.

• Had amazing exams which I passed with distinction
• GREAT success in masters thesis, with my work highly appreciated and acknowledged
• Got a job after a grilling interview. The interview was really good for me … a reality check!
• Got PhD offer
• Niece born this year and I named her
• Made 2 trips to Pakistan and one to UAE
• Had a great time with friends and some really good ones in UK
• Got more regular in prayers (but needs a lot of work still)
• I’ve shunned fiction almost completely and began reading Islamic books on beliefs, history and hadith (Sahih Bukhari).
• Got an iPhone (and N97, which I used to like until I began using iPhone)
• Got a DSLR
• [Geek Alert] Worked on some really exciting Texas Instruments kits

The bads this year….well..being away from the family is one but that is also good because it has made me realize how important they are to me.

That’s all for the highlights of 2009! Oh and my blog turned 2 yesterday…

One wish I have for the next year is the improvement of security situation in Pakistan. It really saddens me (and all of us ofcourse) that innocent people have to die because of some ignorant people. May Allah protect the people of Pakistan and guide us to the right path. Ameen!

The news of Bilal Riaz’s shahadah took me by surprise last night to such an extent that I almost lost control of myself. I sat idly for a good one hour or so trying to figure out if this really did happen. Its not very easy to believe that a guy you just met a couple of months back before his departure to homeland has also departed from this temporary world. Its not easy at all. Granted, life and death is in Allah’s hands and that death can and does take you by surprise, the way in which Bilal passed away is really the point that is disturbing.

He came to the UK last year for his masters in communications and signal processing, a parallel course in my department. We didn’t interact much until we had a common module and after that we used to discuss all the issues in Pakistan, especially cricket. I walked in the lab one day, and he was sitting in his usual far end seat. It was the day the Sri Lankan cricket team was attacked in Lahore. We were the only two guys in the lab early in the morning and the look on his face showed his concern and disgust. We sat for an hour or so discussing the deteriorating security situation in the country. Obviously, we shared similar concerns on the wave of terror. Sigh, he has fallen victim to the same wave. His words about the incident and his take on terrorism kept reverberating in my mind all night yesterday.

We may have not interacted for very long but when you live abroad, you do share a special bond. I cannot even consider myself as a very close friend of his, but we did share a lot of our frustrations during the time of our final thesis. We had some lunches together and as usual, all the Pakistani guys in the department used to meet after every Friday prayers at the College. Again, its the Friday prayer in which he passed away.

Ironically yesterday as soon as I entered the uni building I saw BBC showing news of some attack in Pakistan. I turned away. I’ve been doing this for the past one month. It hurts to see so many people losing their lives for no reason while the leaders continue to condemn it. Anyway, and again we discussed Bilal out of the blue just as soon as I reached the lab. And that he was about to get married.

What troubles me most is what the heck is happening in the country? Who’s after all this? When will the conspiracies end? If the army knows, why don’t they tell us? If the politicians know why are they quiet? And why does the President get 80 cars for his security and common man nothing? Why is there injustice amongst ourselves? Why are innocents dying and culprits living lavishly? Who is our enemy? Why doesn’t anyone ever get  caught? It is impossible to think that no one knows what’s happening. For us, we are bombarded with so much of information that we cannot even decipher which is the true one.

My heart weeps for Bilal, for my country. But I also hate myself for being so helpless at this point….

Returning to the subject of Bilal, I keep on picturing myself in his place. It could just have been me praying in the mosque and blown up in to pieces. Bilal was courageous enough even at that moment. The fact that he not only lost his life while in a mosque where he went to offer Friday prayers, but also that he sacrificed himself to save another life (his nephew) makes him much much special. May Allah grant him an exalted state in Paradise and give strength to his parents to be patient in bearing the loss of their beloved.